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Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in gutsru's LiveJournal:

Saturday, August 6th, 2005
9:48 pm
I've just run 1200 m after about 6 months when i didn't it. It's amazing! Going to keep doing it!!
Friday, August 5th, 2005
11:07 pm
The results of today's life analysis are as follows:
1. I have really necessary thing to do. I know what it is. It motivates me rather well and for the sake of it i'm ready for many restrictions.
2. Too many things were uncontrolled by me. It was dull and not due to any worth reasons. I'll follow this really important essences for the whole matter from today forth.
9:12 pm
Fresh feelings
I'm always thinking about what makes me unhappy. I'm not quite unhappy, no. I just feel that my life is passing with no results.
Almost all basic needs are satisfied (else sex), but i don't believe in my future self-realization.
What makes me so sure in it?
1. I have no idea how to move further. Because i've got the habit to be
an executor. It means death for my work.

2. My boss is steadily inventing new ways to solve the problem , and I don't believe in the correctness of his conjectures.
It seems like we are working as if there were no experiment.

3. I get exhausted of his manner to suppose and to manage me. Being an executor I have no time to get an insight into general background of the problem we're working on. MOreover I have no desire to get an insight cause during several years I haven't completed no educative initiative of my own.

And there is another problem: I can't see well. Can't concentrate when it's necessary. My body is weak. A'm fucking angry. And I consider often this state of affairs to be final.
Wednesday, August 3rd, 2005
12:52 pm
Speech training
I happened to see a bit specific movie today. It's called "Rhetoric". As you may guess, the subject of the movie is how to learn to speak well . I believe this movie is the product of new russian guru. I observe the great activity of such a kind of persons during the last 2 years in Moscow.

Russians have eventually built their own crippled copy of the capitalism. People don't want to be involved in policy anymore, instead they wanna make money "here and now". The so called
small-scale business is steadily growing, because the biggest valuable parts of former soviet industry are already taken. As a consequence the amount of small-scale business leaders is growing too. Many of them are trying to improve their personal abilities. The rest of chances to get wealthy are just negligeble.

I'm aware of the new russian guru's activities rather well. They all are basing on the "modern" (for ordinary Russians it's so) psychological achievements such as NLP, Erickson hypnosis etc. The use of science to convince someone of your own authority is typical of them. I don't disapprove
the reference to science, but I demand that they represent scientific results in the manner of science. It implies full review of existing standpoints and the references to original results.

The guru I saw today tried to surprise rather than convince. He tried to convince with the help of visual and nonverbal facilities, arbitrary conjectures.

He offered the usual way to surmount a fear for public speech: if you'll make the action you fear for, you won't be killed or injured. You won't be even funny. Everything will be OK.
But I think he's wrong. You are spending time in every action. So you always loose time and sometimes win something.
Thursday, July 28th, 2005
7:33 pm
what is the sense in human's life?
Now i suppose there are basically three things to do:
1. To control yourself.
2. To feel that you have to die and it may happen anytime. To anticipate all possible events (external control).
3. To use all the possibilities you have. To change this world actively but wisely at the same time.
Certainly, it isn't literally the sense. It's rather the way to behave. And this way is most closely suits us as human creatures. I have based on what distinguishes human among animals.
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